You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
