Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
