My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
