So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
