So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
