Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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