Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
