miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize