Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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