i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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