so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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