I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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