the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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