Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
