ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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