I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
