So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
