currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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