This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
