babies were throwing up all over the place
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
