The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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