pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
how drunk are you?
Several
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
