omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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