Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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