ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
