They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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