its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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