girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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