she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
