whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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