how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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