No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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