I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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