either way he was missing a nipple.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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