I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
