So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
