i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
