the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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