just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
