A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think I died a long time ago.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
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