ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
how drunk are you?
Several
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
