dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
