I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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