i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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