I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
