Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
