Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
