just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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