my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
