you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
