he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
