margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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