butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
