They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
