I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
