just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
