he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
