ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
