Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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